>Terrible news from Los Angeles today.  Apparently, the rally monkey, who became famous during the 2002 World Series championship for the Angels, has caused a major outbreak of the Motaba virus.  In July of 1967, the Motaba virus made its first appearance in the Motaba River Valley, devastating the region and killing within days.  The U.S. military was responsible for dropping a major bomb on the region to prevent further spread of the disease.  However, it appears as though the disease is back, and the Angel’s beloved mascot is the cause.  Rumor has it that Dustin Hoffmann, Renee Russo and Morgan Freeman are on the scene and will save the day before the military decides to destroy another town.

Shortly before his organs liquefied, a spokesman from Disney reportedly said, “We aren’t worried about this alleged outbreak.  The rally monkey has been a long-standing symbol of victory for Angel fans, and we refuse to believe that he could be the cause of such an awful disease.  He’s just so cute!  Come here, buddy!  Come here!  OWWW!!!!  Why you little….”