>The Chicago Cubs continued their quest to ensure Lou Piniella doesn’t return for another season in Wrigleyville.  Carlos Zambrano, having already set the record for the most expensive non-closer in bullpen history, decided to take it another step today… by yelling and almost getting into a fight with 1B Derek Lee in the dugout… in the 1st inning.

In the second round match-up of underachieving teams, Big Z allowed 4 runs in the first inning to the White Sox.  Zambrano is known to be a bit of a hot-head and for some reason felt like it was his responsibility to remind everyone of that particular character trait.

Inside sources say the conversation went like this:

Lee: Hey, Carlos! Tough first inning, but don’t worry, we’ll get them back.

Big Z: What was that, man?

Lee: I said don’t worry.  We’ve got your back, Z.  We’re just glad you’re starting again.

Big Z: Oh so you think I suck, momma’s boy?

Lee: Wait, what?

Big Z: You heard me.  You and your sissy little first base.  I will drill you in the head next time we face if you keep disrespecting me.

Lee: Are you nuts?

Big Z: Oh, so now I’m crazy?

Piniella: Holy crap, boys!  What the heck is going on here?

Big Z: Pretty boy here was talking smack to me, and I’m gonna punch him in the face!

Lee: Whoa, wait a minute!  I was trying to encourage you.

Big Z: Why don’t you shut up and start hitting those 6-run dingers again, fool!  Or did you forget that I’m the only one that can go yard on this team.

Piniella: All right that’s enough! Carlos, hit the showers!

Big Z: What?!? You want to see me in the shower?  You sick, freak!

Piniella (on phone to bullpen): Get somebody warming up, Z’s lost it again.

Bullpen phone: He was due.

Piniella: I can’t wait until they fire me.  First Milton, now this.  I’m getting too old for this…